When we found out we were pregnant we were so happy and we shared the news with all our family and friends. After a year of trying to conceive, with the help of fertility pills, my miracle baby was growing inside me. I went to the doctor regularly and things seemed to be okay with my baby, but at 4 months everything changed - that’s when my world seemed to come to an end. I went for my regular checkup and they did all the normal prenatal blood tests. It was two days later when they called me to say that there was something wrong with one of the tests and that they have to send me to a high risk doctor. Two days later the high risk doctor told me there was bad news – there was definitely something wrong with my miracle baby. They wanted to do an amniocentesis to be sure.

My baby had Turner syndrome, which is a condition that affects about 1 in every 2500 girls. We were so happy to find out we were having a GIRL! –but it was not long until my joy turned to tears of despair. The doctor told us that she wouldn’t make it full term and he asked if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. I said, “No way – she is my miracle baby!” They told me to think about it and that Turner’s babies don’t survive. They told me to go ahead and make a follow-up appointment in two weeks, but that I’d probably end up cancelling it because they thought my pregnancy would end in miscarriage before then.

The appointment came and my baby was still moving, still there. She was such a fighter! They did another ultrasound and found more bad news. She wasn’t growing, she was too small and they discovered she had cystic hygroma. Then they discovered a heart problem. At first they thought it was a minor issue that could be fixed if she survived. But after two more hours of ultrasounds, a cardiologist told me that my baby had hypoplastic left heart syndrome, which involves a combination of several serious abnormalities. We were just so devastated. Once again they told us she would not make it to full term.

The cardiologist gave us three options for our baby if she did make it to full term – not that he thought she would. First he offered heart transplant, but they worried that she would be too small and there is a waiting list. Next was 3 stages of surgery, one just after birth. The third option was to take the baby home and they would give her a medicine so she would live about 6 hrs and then die. I chose to give my baby the opportunity to live – I chose the 3 stage surgeries.

From that point on I was going to the doctor 2 or 3 time a week so they could monitor her heart and do non-stress tests. For the remaining months the hospital and clinic were almost my “home”. When I was 36 weeks along, I went for the non-stress test and this time they notice something was going wrong with her heart. They sent me to the hospital and a day later they decided to begin an induction. The baby did not like the contractions – her heart rate continued to drop and eventually, I had an emergency c-section.

Finally, my little miracle was born! She was too small – at 36 weeks she weighed only 1.6 lbs, but she was perfect, beautiful, and she cried! She made it! The doctors couldn’t believe it. When I was 5 months pregnant, I’d talked to the head of the NICU. Back then he’d given me a tour, showing me the ventilator and tubes and machines they said she would need immediately after birth – if she made it to term, which they doubted. Well, they were wrong – again. There she was in the NICU and she was breathing on her own. No tubes, no machines.

Her first surgery, we knew, would have to be done soon after her birth. I met the surgeon before Samantha was born and thought we were all set, but on day 3, the cardiologist came to my room and told me that we needed to find another surgeon! Because she was so small, the hospital would not allow the surgery. The cardiologist helped us with finding another hospital, and Samantha was transported by helicopter to Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, and at 6 days old she had the first surgery. It was a miracle that she made it.

In the NICU she had to learn how to eat. For awhile everything was going well. But she started to get sick – they found fluid, removed it, found more, took her back to surgery to remove it – it was a rollercoaster. We were close to taking her home for the first time on Thanksgiving Day, but she was once again sick. This time she had pneumonia. By Christmas we were told she’s by home – but just before we left they did one more echo-cardiogram and discovered a coarctation of the aorta. So, her first Christmas was also spent at the hospital. I was with her 24 hrs of every day. At 3 months old, Samantha finally came home! We had 10 days with her until we were back in the hospital because her heart was failing. Another month in the hospital and again back home, and again 10 days later back to the hospital. It was a depressing rollercoaster and I often cried out to God, “Why?? Why can’t my baby have a normal life?” Actually, I was happy to have my baby alive, even if she was in the hospital a lot. I thanked God that He gave me the chance to hold my baby and to be by her side every single day and night during the ordeal.

At 5 months, Samantha had pneumonia again. She really needed her second surgery, but she was still too small. They needed her to gain weight – but this was difficult because she was sick. One night at the hospital, Samantha went into cardiac arrest. It was so scary – I watched the doctors, nurses, everyone was trying to save my baby’s life. It was like a nightmare that ended in a miracle –they did it! They saved her life.

But life would continue on a rollercoaster. Children’s of Los Angeles felt they couldn’t help her, so she was transferred to Children’s of Orange County. After two days, they also felt they could not help her and back she went to Children’s of Los Angeles. The surgery had to wait until the pneumonia was gone. Our rollercoaster ride did have many downs, but there were ups –there were miracles. Samantha got better and she was able to have her second surgery. She needed a longer time on the ventilator, but eventually she came off. She still needed oxygen, but she was alive. She’d made it again, and again I thanked God for giving us the chance to hold our baby again in stable condition.

Everyone at the hospital loved my baby. The nurses were more than nice to us, they treated us like family. They were thrilled with the next miracle to come. Suddenly, Samantha no longer needed oxygen. For the first time since her first surgery, she was a “normal” baby again. We took her down to the garden, the chapel, wagon rides through the hospital halls. She didn’t seem sick anymore and finally we took her home again. The doctors were honest with us, warning us that even though she didn’t seem sick and was doing well, her heart was not working right and there would not be anything they could do until that 3rd surgery, which they didn’t think would happen. We were sent home on hospice – Trinity Kids Care. This service helps children with life-limiting illnesses leave the hospital to spend time at home with their families with end-of-life comfort care.

After only one day back home I noticed she was getting sick and I called hospice. Samantha had to go back on oxygen. Two days after coming home, our baby’s heart rate was dropping and the oxygen monitor kept beeping – I knew this was the end for her. I held her, she opened her little eyes once, then closed them. Her dad hugged and kissed her, and then she was gone. It was so painful, I almost wanted to die with her. Yet, at the same time, I knew that she had wanted to come with us – and she did. She went to be with God at her own house with her family there with her. We knew she was in a better place, but it was still hard to accept. I know she is helping us from heaven. She lives with God in happiness and with no suffering. She fought for those 7 months with us and though it was a roller coaster, I thank God for every moment.

Family members often ask if we are going to have another baby. Then they ask, "But what about if your next baby had another chromosome problem or heart defects?" I just answer that I know I have to go through genetics and high risk pregnancy consults. But it's OK. If God decides to send me another special baby, I would give that baby the same oportunity that I gave Samantha. I will be more that happy to hold another special angel. She proved to me that anything is possible and I'm ready to try again. We will let God decide our future and our baby's future.